


Particular Care

by naomin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Caretaking, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Unresolved Sexual Tension, burnout/stress/suggested nonspecific mental health issues i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naomin/pseuds/naomin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is struggling, and Erwin wants to do something, even if some boundaries get stretched in the process.  </p><p>Set in between ACWNR and the main storyline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally planned to be a oneshot, but it turns out that I can write about Levi being in emotional distress + Erwin not really knowing how to handle it basically forever, so, breaking it up. 
> 
> I'm giving this a T for now, but the rating will probably go up with the next installment.

It’s not long after Levi’s third expedition that Erwin first notices that something is wrong. He has the chance to see Levi briefly right after they get back within the walls, as the horses are being stabled, the wounded are hurried away, and the remaining surviving soldiers are starting to disperse for the evening. Levi’s standing in the midst of all this activity, on the far side of the stables from where Erwin is, with his cape bundled under one arm and his chest and shoulder straps half-unbuckled. Even from a distance, Erwin can see the look of numb exhaustion on his face. He almost calls out to Levi, impulsively, but just then one of the squad leaders runs over to him with the news that a handful of soldiers are unexpectedly unaccounted for. It turns out to be a false alarm, fortunately, but by the time Erwin has the chance to remember Levi again, he’s nowhere to be seen.

Their paths don’t cross again until several days later. Erwin happens to be passing by the soldiers’ mess hall when he catches a glimpse of Levi sitting alone at one of the tables inside. He stops, looks a little more closely. It’s not Erwin’s usual way to be so blunt, but the first thought that pops into his mind is: _He looks like shit_. Levi looks just as worn out as the last time Erwin saw him, even though it’s the middle of the day and Erwin knows that most of the soldiers haven’t been worked too hard since the expedition. Levi’s gazing dully at the mug in front of him on the table, and doesn’t notice Erwin.

Before the day is over, he requests that Levi be sent to his office. Erwin only partly expects him to show up – Levi’s still wary around him, and he still has a tendency to test the limits of how much the Survey Corps will let him get away with – but, to his surprise, Levi’s there only a little while after Erwin sends for him.

Erwin invites him inside, gestures for him to sit. Then he looks at Levi, searching for the same things that had bothered him earlier. Something is still wrong. Levi’s meeting his gaze with annoyance – Erwin knows that in a few seconds he’ll demand to know what he's been called here for – but there’s still a shadow of exhaustion over his features, as if he hasn’t rested properly in a long time. Even more troubling, his clothes and hair look uncharacteristically messy, something Erwin isn't sure if he's ever even seen before.

“How are you doing?” Erwin asks.

“You called me up here to ask how I’m doing?” Levi sounds scornful but not particularly surprised.

Erwin presses on, keeping his tone unchallenging. “How was the expedition?”

Levi hesitates. His posture doesn’t change – he’s still sprawled insolently in the chair, trying a little too hard to look as if he doesn’t care what Erwin has to say – but something shifts in his expression, for just a second. _Ah_ , Erwin thinks.

“We were too slow,” says Levi at last. “We lost some people on my side of the formation just because the others weren’t ready.”

He eyes Erwin as if he expects to be reprimanded for speaking badly of his fellow soldiers. But the truth is that Erwin’s delighted, though it would be inappropriate and unprofessional to let it show. It’s good that Levi had a keen eye for errors – not that Erwin would expect differently from him by this point, really – and good that he’s willing to share his insights. Erwin can make use of these qualities when the time to plan for the next journey outside the walls rolls around.

“Everything went quite well, overall,” he says. It’s the truth. They had been able to make it to a region that had been out of reach during past expeditions, and Erwin’s been told that a few squads had managed record numbers of Titan kills. And in total, there had only been six soldiers lost with a few more injured, none too seriously at that. At this stage in Erwin’s career, he's aware that those are very good numbers. “I’ve heard you did good work. Be proud of that.”

Levi scoffs disbelievingly, gaze flicking away from Erwin. His mouth twists, but he says nothing.

Erwin watches him, troubled. He knows how high the burnout rate for new recruits is, but it hadn’t occurred to him to worry about that for Levi. Though, he thinks now, maybe he should have known better. Life in the Survey Corps is a hard adjustment for everyone, and Levi has already lost friends outside the walls.

A few more seconds of uncomfortable silence go by, until at last Erwin clears his throat. “Is there anything that you need, Levi?”

Levi’s eyes are back on him in an instant, scrutinizing. “What?”

“Ah.” It hadn’t sounded like such a strange question in Erwin’s head, but… He presses on anyway, trying to speak delicately. “It’s still only recently that you joined us. And I…” He finds himself taking note of the dark circles under Levi’s eyes, the rigid set of his shoulders. “If you’re having any difficulties, I’d like to know.”

Levi scowls. “ _Difficulties,”_ Erwin hears him repeat under his breath. He’s still pushing it – any other new recruit would have gotten a few choice words about respect by now, at _least_ – but Levi is different, and Erwin’s given up trying to pretend otherwise. So he waits, until Levi finally spits out, “No. Nothing.”  

It’s not “nothing”, obviously. Erwin can tell from Levi’s worn-out appearance, the way that his words and his body are tense in a way that has nothing to do with his annoyance with the conversation.

Erwin has one more card to play, even though he’s reluctant to humiliate Levi, especially if he's in a bad state already. “In any case, soldiers are expected to meet certain standards of presentation.”

“What are you saying?” Levi scowls.

Erwin meets his gaze with the standard bland-but-firm expression he saves for times like this. “You need to make sure that you’re clean and neatly dressed.” He can’t resist adding: “Especially when you’re summoned by someone who outranks you.”

The look Levi gives him is utterly scathing. “ _What?_ You’re telling me that? You should see some of the others, I don’t think the person riding next to me during the expedition had changed his uniform in a _week_...”

Erwin says nothing, just sits and watches Levi sputter indignantly. Levi’s more animated now than Erwin’s seen him since before the expedition, and it’s a fine thing to see. Anger – or embarrassment – brings just the slightest hint of a blush to his cheeks.

“…And do you even know what the showers are like? Mold fucking everywhere. It’s disgusting...”

“Well, keep what I’m saying in mind,” says Erwin.

 

-

 

Three days after that, Erwin is passing by the stables when he overhears an argument. One of the voices Erwin can’t place. The other belongs to Levi, of course.

He walks towards the sound of their voices, coming around a corner to see Levi facing off against a woman that Erwin recognizes as a soldier somewhere in between himself and Levi in rank.

“It doesn’t matter who you are,” the soldier is saying, sounding as if this is something she’s been trying to get across for at least the last ten minutes or so. “It’s the same for everyone, Levi, there are _limits_ – oh, excuse me, sir.”

At her last words, Levi’s head snaps around in the direction of her gaze, to where Erwin’s standing. Even at a glance, Erwin can see that Levi hasn’t improved since their discussion. He still looks tired and disheveled, maybe even more so than before. Erwin can also see that Levi’s been keeping himself busy. He’s wearing a set of the harnesses used for maneuvering gear, and his face and clothing are stained with dust and fresh sweat. Levi says nothing when he sees Erwin, but his eyes go wide with surprise for a split second, before his expression sours again.

“What’s the problem?” Erwin asks.

The soldier – Erwin can’t quite remember her name, she’s not someone he usually works with directly – huffs an aggrieved sigh. “He’s been in the gear since early this morning, practicing like the walls are going to come down tomorrow. No one else is out there right now, and he didn’t even stop when it was time to eat. I’ve been telling him that this is unacceptable, but…” She trails off, but the looks she and Levi exchange say it all.

“It’s none of your damn business.” Levi sounds every bit as fed up with this debate as the other soldier does. “Why the fuck are you telling me _not_ to practice, anyway? If that’s the way you do things here, no _wonder_ we can’t go outside without losing half a fucking squad each time!“

The woman opens her mouth to speak, furious, but Erwin moves first. He quickly steps forward until he’s close enough that he can grab Levi by the arm, yanking Levi around to look at him. “That’s enough.” Erwin turns his attention to the other soldier, though he takes care to keep his grip when Levi automatically tries to pull away.   “Let me take care of this. You can go.”

“Yes, sir.” The soldier nods her understanding and leaves them, visibly relieved.

A few other soldiers are lingering at the far end of the stables, watching them curiously. It’s no place to have a private conversation, and Erwin’s determined to get to the bottom of whatever it is that’s to blame for this change in Levi. He starts towards the closest building, taking Levi with him.

“What the fuck?” Levi snarls.

“We’re going to talk. Can you manage that much without acting like a disrespectful child?”  

Levi seethes. He’s still resisting, but only weakly. He’s too proud to put up an undignified struggle under circumstances like these, for which Erwin is grateful. He probably wouldn’t be able to hang onto Levi if the man really tried to get away. As it is, he’s able to steer them both into an empty room, before letting Levi go. Levi pulls away as soon as he can, glaring at Erwin, his mouth pressed into a tight line. There’s indignation in his eyes, but also weariness, and something like hurt. Despite his frustration, for a fleeting second Erwin finds himself pitying Levi more than anything else, wishing that he could gentle Levi into relaxing, into telling Erwin what’s on his mind.

But there’s no place for pity here, and Erwin knows that Levi understands that just as well as he does, so there’s nothing gentle in Erwin’s voice when he speaks.

“What was all that, Levi?”

“Nothing,” Levi answers, jaw clenched. He’s making some kind of effort to control his emotions, Erwin thinks, but it’s hardly enough. Levi’s gaze darts around the room as if he’s an animal in a cage. He looks directly at Erwin’s face only for a second, but it’s apparently long enough for him to understand that Erwin won’t be satisfied with such a short answer. Levi makes an annoyed noise – somewhere between a sigh and a groan – and speaks again, grudgingly. “I wasn’t _trying_ to start anything, I'm serious. But she wouldn’t leave it alone. I don’t know what the fuck her problem was, but…”

“An officer gave you an order, and you ignored her?”

“A fucking _stupid_ order,” Levi mutters.

Erwin draws himself up, giving Levi a look that makes the other man pause. “I’ve been very patient with you, Levi,” he says. “But I won’t hear you disrespect another soldier.  Not to mention the way you spoke earlier about your comrades who gave their lives outside the walls..." 

Levi's expression darkens even further, but he's holding his tongue now.

"If you can’t be civil, we’ll be done here," Erwin continues.  "Is that what you want?” Levi is special, and Erwin has been lenient with him before, but today enough is enough.

Levi says nothing, sullenly looking away from Erwin once more.

“Try again,” Erwin orders.

“I don’t _know_.” Levi’s tone is still nothing like the one he should be using with someone of Erwin’s rank, but he sounds more weary and frustrated than purely defiant. “I don’t know why she gave a shit what I was doing in the first place. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

Erwin thinks back to what the other soldier had said to him. “For how long?”

Levi gives an irritable little half-shrug. “I don’t know. A while. I could have gone longer. And I wasn’t bothering anybody, either.” 

His words sound genuine and unguarded, at last. Levi really doesn’t understand why he’s in trouble, Erwin thinks, and he feels another brief, ill-advised, burst of pity. “There are rules about using the gear,” he says. “You aren’t supposed to train for more than a couple of hours without resting, especially not alone. It’s not safe, and it’s not good for your body.”

“That’s nothing,” Levi scoffs. “We could go all afternoon without a break back on the street, easy. I was just getting started back there."

Erwin wonders about that – using the maneuvering gear seriously becomes grueling after only a short time, even for experienced soldiers, but on the other hand, surely if anyone could handle the strain it would probably be Levi. In any case, it seems wisest not to challenge Levi about this particular point right now. “All the same,” he says instead. “You need to follow the same rules as everybody else.”

“I can’t believe you don’t want me to _practice_ ,” Levi insists stubbornly. “You need better soldiers. I can’t be the only one who gets that, not after the last couple of times…”

The last part is added with a little less vehemence, almost an afterthought, but it makes Erwin’s ears perk up. That had been the substance of Levi’s ruder comments earlier, too, as well as something he had mentioned in Erwin’s office the other day.

“You want to get stronger for the expeditions?” Erwin asks. 

Levi stiffens, and for a second Erwin expects him to reject Erwin's words automatically. “Yeah,” Levi mutters at last.

Erwin gives him an encouraging smile. “That’s very good, Levi. You’ve already distinguished yourself, it’s wonderful that you’d like to improve even more.”

Levi grimaces self-consciously, something Erwin’s fairly sure that he does without meaning to. It’s quite endearing. “It’s just that it’s not working,” he says quietly. “The way we’re doing things now.” 

“Is that really what you think?”

Levi studies Erwin for a moment, as if he’s trying to get a sense of whether or not the question is some kind of trap. Erwin keeps his face blank.

At last, Levi lets his gaze drop. “I don’t know,” he says at last. His voice is quiet, and his eyes are focused on some point far away. “There has to be something better than this.” 

Erwin’s heart could have broken for him, back when Erwin himself had been young and new to the Corps, before he had witnessed so many other soldiers struggle to come to terms with their grim circumstances that it was no longer remarkable. Now, as he studies Levi – Levi, who’s still new enough to it all that he’s unable to accept even a few casualties during the course of an expedition, who’s taken it on himself to get strong enough to save everyone – his instinctive, despicable, first reaction is to wonder whether or not Levi’s current state will hurt his performance outside the walls.

“Everyone’s doing their part,” he says at last. “Our men and women stay in top form, and you’ll see that after you’ve been with us a little longer. And myself and the squad leaders have already created all kinds of strategies to improve our outcomes in the field.”

It’s the kind of weak statements and vague optimism that might work for civilians, but even as he speaks, Erwin knows that it’s nowhere near sufficient for this situation. Levi, for his part, doesn’t look convinced in the slightest.

“Anyway,” Erwin finishes, when he doesn’t get a response from Levi. “No more training all day, and no more disrespect. If something like this happens again, I won’t intervene. You’ll be punished just like anybody else.”

Levi’s still slightly turned away, but Erwin is fairly sure he sees him roll his eyes.

“And also,” Erwin adds. “You haven’t listened to me about cleaning yourself up.”

That’s enough to earn him Levi’s full attention again, complete with a bitter glare. “I’ve been training!” Levi insists, aggrieved. “All day, that’s what this was about, wasn’t it? And then you dragged me in here out of fucking nowhere.” 

Erwin reaches out, without thinking at all. His hand is on Levi’s head, fingers carding through Levi’s dark hair before he quite realizes exactly what he’s doing.

“And when was the last time you washed your hair?” He’s only barely paying attention to his own words, distracted by the curve of Levi’s skull beneath his palm. 

Levi inhales sharply and jerks away, staring wide-eyed up at Erwin. He looks torn between disbelief, offense, and apprehension, and Erwin can just make out a hint of color high on his cheeks. His mouth works silently for a few seconds before he finally speaks.

“I’m not _dirty_ ,” Levi hisses. It sounds a little weak. His eyes are locked with Erwin’s.  

Erwin swallows. He lets his hand fall. “I told you,” he says, his own voice none too firm, knowing that he’s repeating himself but feeling the overwhelming need to say _something_ , to snap things back to normal again. “Make sure that you’re remembering to wash regularly.” 

“You-!” For a second, Erwin wonders if Levi is about to hit him. He’s angry – whether it’s about the touch or the insult to his hygiene, Erwin isn’t quite sure – but he’s still staring at Erwin, as if he can’t tear himself away. “I _do_ ,” he says at last. “But the showers are a fucking dump, I _told_ you, and you can’t get privacy for five damn seconds no matter where you are, and I hardly have any time in the first place.” 

Erwin can’t interrupt, not even to remind Levi that it’s mostly by his own choice that he’s so overworked. He finds that he’s feeling worried for Levi now, genuinely worried, and he’s not sure what to do to make things better. 

“And there’s practically no point, anyway,” Levi finishes. He raises his hands helplessly, and then lets them drop again, chest almost heaving with emotion. “Because I just get filthy again, before I even have time to turn around. Nothing ever fucking changes, no matter what I do.” 

“Ah,” Erwin says.  There, again, is the overwhelming urge to just say _something_ , even though he doesn’t really know what. This time, though, it’s for a very different reason than when he had absently stroked Levi’s hair only moments earlier.

Levi, for his part, seems to be calming down. He looks surprised by his own outburst, and a little abashed.

“Shit,” Erwin hears him mutter under his breath. “Sorry.”

Erwin shakes his head, gathering his thoughts. “It’s all right,” he says, hoping that he can give Levi whatever it is he needs to hear right now. “I can remember back when I joined, too. We made the best of it, I suppose, but it was hardly pleasant.”

Levi half-nods, half-shrugs.

After a moment, Erwin starts towards the door. There’s no point to continuing the conversation - Levi’s certainly ready to be done, and it seems as if the only thing Erwin can do right now is upset him further. He’s still turning it all over in his mind: Levi’s words, Erwin’s memories of his own time many years ago as a new member of the Corps, his own ever-present misgivings about what he and Levi and all the rest of them have signed up for.

It’s then that the thought enters his mind, unbidden and strange and _much_ more inappropriate then touching Levi’s hair for a second. But perhaps…

“Levi?” Erwin asks.

Levi had looked away from him again, lost in his own unhappy thoughts, but now he turns obediently back to Erwin, face tired and worn.

“I have my own bath,” Erwin finds himself saying. “It’s nothing special, but it’s large, and clean, and probably better than the showers.”

He’s got Levi’s attention for sure now. There’s a much fainter version of the incredulous and wary look from earlier on his face, but he looks curious, too.

“I’d let you come by and use it, if you wanted,” Erwin continues. “Would you like that?”

“In your room?” Levi says slowly. Erwin can see him turning the idea over in his mind.

“My apartment, really. I have a few rooms to myself. You’d have all the privacy you need, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Levi is silent for a moment. Then, suddenly: “What time?”

“Time?” Erwin stumbles for a second, caught off-guard. Even as he had made the offer, he hadn’t really believed that Levi would actually agree. “Oh. Any time you want. The evening would be most convenient for me – that is, if you meant today…”

‘That’s fine,” Levi cuts him off. “Tonight is fine.”

“Oh.” Erwin says again. “All right. I’ll wait for you, then.”

Levi nods, and then he’s out the door without another word. By the time it occurs to Erwin that this is probably more improper behavior – surely the rest of his men would ask permission to leave a meeting first, even a rather unorthodox meeting like this one – the only thing left of Levi is the fading sound of his footsteps.


	2. Chapter 2

Erwin’s quarters consist of only three rooms. He could probably get something bigger, if he asked for it, but he’s always been satisfied with things as they are. He doesn’t need much space, and he’s usually busy enough that he’s rarely there for long enough to do more than change clothes and grab a few hours of sleep.

His door opens onto the first room, which is furnished with a table and chair, and a loveseat off to one side. The loveseat had been there when Erwin had first moved in, left behind by the previous resident, and Erwin’s not sure if it’s ever been used even once since he’s been here. On either side of the room are doors leading to Erwin’s bedroom on the right, and the bathroom on the left.

 In the small bathroom, there’s a sink, a toilet, a cabinet on the wall, and the bathtub. It’s round and deep, and just large enough to fit snugly between the narrow walls on one side of the room. Erwin isn’t sure how long it’s been since that’s been used, either, to tell the truth. His height makes it impossible for him to sit in the tub without bending his knees uncomfortably, and he’s not one to waste time taking long baths in the first place. There are showers set aside specifically for senior officers nearby – hardly luxurious, but more pleasant than the ones soldiers like Levi use, he’s pretty sure – and they do the job just as well.

Levi will be here soon. They hadn’t spoken of an exact time, but it’s well into the evening by now. Levi shouldn’t have any work to attend to at a time like this – though, Erwin thinks, it’s impossible to predict what Levi might be up to at any given moment.

Erwin decides that it’s as good a time as any to start running a bath. The tub will take a while to fill, and it will be better if it’s ready when Levi arrives, and Erwin can simply point him in the direction of the bathroom and leave him to it. The idea of having Levi here – taking a _bath_ , no less – feels rather surreal. He’s not sure what had come over him earlier, but at the same time, the possibility of taking his offer back now is out of the question. Even though Levi can be difficult at times, it wouldn’t be right for Erwin to be rude to him. And it’s only a bath, after all, and Erwin won’t even be in the same room.

The faucet is slow and squeaky from disuse, and turning the tap takes a surprising amount of effort, but at last, water begins to pour down. A few drops splash up onto Erwin, and it occurs to him too late that he should have rolled up his sleeves before going to work. He does so now, baring himself to his elbows and adjusting the taps until there’s a steady flow of hot water pooling at the bottom of the tub.

As Erwin straightens up, it suddenly occurs to him that he hadn’t given Levi any kind of directions to where he lives. He gives himself a mental kick for not thinking of that earlier, telling himself at the same time that it might be for the best, anyway. This had been a ridiculous idea in the first place, and maybe this way things can go on as if Erwin had never even suggested it… 

Someone raps smartly on the door, startling him out of his thoughts. 

“Coming!” Erwin calls, hurrying back to the front door. When he opens it, the first thing he sees is the soldier standing in his doorway, looking rather annoyed, and then, when Erwin’s gaze drops a little bit, he sees Levi. Levi’s casually dressed in civilian clothes, maybe the first Erwin’s seen him in since he enlisted, and he’s looking up at Erwin expectantly.

“Yes?” Erwin asks, redirecting his attention back to the other soldier.

“He was asking where you lived,” the soldier says. “I told him that you don’t take visitors here, especially not this late, but he kept saying you had told him to come here, and you two had some kind of _business_.” He accompanies this last word with a skeptically raised eyebrow. It’s clear that he’s only waiting for the word from Erwin to kick Levi out.

“That’s correct,” Erwin tells him smoothly. “Thank you for bringing him here. You can go now.”

The soldier’s eyebrows go up even higher, and for just a moment his eyes flick from Levi to Erwin – Erwin suddenly feels rather self-conscious of his rolled-up sleeves and water-splattered clothing, he hopes that he’s still presentable – before his expression turns mercifully, professionally, neutral, and he nods. “Understood. Good evening, sir.” The soldier salutes briefly, and then strides away, leaving Erwin and Levi alone.

Erwin turns back to Levi, who’s still watching him. He seems to be in a better mood than the last time they spoke, at the very least. Erwin finds himself feeling optimistic about this idea once more.

“Come in.” He holds the door open wider, leaving room for Levi to walk past him and enter. After a beat, Levi does, stepping slowly into Erwin’s front room.

“You could have given me directions,” Levi comments. He looks over the room as he speaks, taking in his surroundings with the methodical eye of someone used to keeping a constant lookout for danger.

“I forgot,” Erwin says as he closes the door behind them. He finds himself hovering a few steps behind Levi, suddenly feeling strangely awkward. “I’m sorry. Did you have any problems getting here?” 

“No, not after I asked him,” Levi waves a careless hand in the direction of the door, and the fading footsteps of the soldier that had escorted him. “Even if he didn’t half give me some shit about it, at first.” Levi shrugs off the jacket he’s wearing and arranges it rather fussily on one of the hooks that hang on the wall by the door. “And I bet he’s telling his friends some weird stories now,” he adds over his shoulder. 

Erwin’s missed something. “Weird…?”

The look Levi gives him is somewhere in between amused, disbelieving, and pitying. The full meaning of what Levi’s suggesting – what Erwin _thinks_ he’s suggesting, at least, it’s so hard to pin Levi down – hits Erwin finally, and for a second he’s absurdly worried that he might blush like a schoolboy. A young and attractive – Erwin can call Levi attractive, objectively speaking, in his own mind, can’t he? – recruit paying a visit to a senior officer in his private quarters, at such a late hour. Of course there might be some who would take that the wrong way, as silly as it was. Anybody who knows even a little bit about Levi would surely find the idea of him wanting or needing to use… _inappropriat_ e ways of succeeding in the Corps to be ridiculous, and Erwin would hope that he’s never given anyone cause to believe something like that about him, either.

_We’re not doing anything inappropriate,_ he finds himself thinking. _He’s just taking a bath here._

It sounds a little off, even in his own head.

But Erwin already knows just from the relatively short amount of time he’s been working with Levi that any attempt at discussing even the possibility of such a thing will end in nothing but awkwardness, and possibly Levi taking offense, and that’s the last thing he wants after what’s been a trying day already. “I don’t think there’s any need to worry about that,” he says firmly. He points helpfully to the bathroom, from which the sound of running water can still be faintly heard. “The bath is in there.”

Levi looks unimpressed with this less-than-skillful subject change, but heads dutifully into the bathroom. Erwin trails behind him. The bathroom receives the same attentive scan as the first room had. Erwin notices Levi’s eyes linger on the rust and soap scum on the sink and tub – _I should have cleaned before he came here_ , Erwin finds himself thinking, ridiculously – but Levi keeps any criticisms to himself. It is, Erwin supposes, almost certainly a step up from whatever’s been available to Levi in who knows how long, even if it’s not perfect.

The tub has been filling up nicely all this time, and the water is already more than halfway to the brim. The room is warm and wet with steam.

After several seconds pass, and Levi seems to have no objections, Erwin speaks up again. “If this looks good, I’ll leave you to it. Everything you need should be here, you can change the water, or use any of my things, if you need to…” He’s rambling. Levi’s eyes are fixed on his face, expression unsettlingly inscrutable. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” Erwin finishes.

“Sure,” Levi agrees carelessly. He dips one hand delicately into the tub, testing the temperature of the water.

Erwin leaves Levi in the bathroom, shutting the door gently behind him, and heads back out into the front room. For a while he just stands there, trying to get his bearings. Everything’s going smoothly – Levi’s here, he’s in a surprisingly agreeable mood, Erwin’s bath seems to have met his standards – but there’s something about it all that still feels strange and almost disorienting, as if all of Erwin’s furniture has been suddenly rearranged along with Levi’s arrival.

He walks away from the bathroom and Levi, to his bedroom. There are books there, and some notes on previous expeditions. He can read while Levi carries out his business.

And that’s what he does, or at least, what he tries to do. He settles himself on the bed with a history book – an official account, probably sanitized or completely untrue in many places, but still worth a look – and does his best to focus on that, and not the extra presence in his space.

The sound of running water and the squeak of taps turning can still be heard, just faintly. Levi’s adjusting the bath.

After a minute or two, the water stops and there’s a long pause. Erwin catches himself trying to imagine what this means – Is there a problem? Is Levi undressing now, preparing to get in? – before dragging his thoughts back to his book.

“Hey?” Levi’s voice filters in from the other side of the apartment, ruining his efforts entirely.

“Yes?” Erwin sets the book down on the bed. He’ll go back to it, of course, as soon as he hears what Levi wants.

“Where’s the soap?”

“By the sink,” Erwin calls back.

There’s another silence. Erwin’s pretty sure that, back in the bathroom, Levi is rolling his eyes, or perhaps curling his lip in disgust. The bar of soap at the sink, though perfectly usable, is, Erwin will admit, not especially new or attractive-looking.

Well, there’s other soap somewhere, at least, Erwin’s pretty sure there is. If it pleases Levi to waste time looking for it, let him. “Look in the cabinet if you want something different.”

There’s a flurry of action in the bathroom, and Erwin can hear the sound of the cabinet’s door opening – that squeaks, too, he realizes for the first time, he should think about doing something about it – and its contents being impatiently moved about. “Don’t see it!” Levi yells.

Listening to the faint sounds of Levi’s search is somehow excruciating, like trying not to scratch an itch. Erwin lasts about thirty seconds, before pushing himself off the bed and heading toward the bathroom. 

Levi starts when he opens the door, distracted from the task of excavating the contents of Erwin’s bathroom. For a brief second, Erwin’s startled too. The first thing he notices upon entering is that there’s much more skin on display then the last time he had been there, and he suddenly realizes that he should have knocked first – but then, to Erwin’s relief, he sees that Levi’s only taken off his shirt. Levi’s back and chest are pale almost to the point of being sickly-looking, making the raw red marks from his gear straps a startling contrast. There’s an ugly bruise marring his left shoulder.

“You could have _knocked_ ,” Levi admonishes.

Erwin reaches past him into the cabinet and, after a few seconds of searching, successfully unearths the thing he had vaguely remembered was there somewhere: another bar of soap, still wrapped in elegant paper. It had been a gift, given long ago and promptly forgotten about – Erwin doesn’t particularly care for fancy things like that – but now he holds it out to Levi. “Here.”

Levi turns the soap over in his hands, raising his eyebrows approvingly as he studies the label.

“What else?” Erwin asks.

Levi drags his attention away from the soap, and gives him a questioning look. “Nothing.”

“Good.” The strange, restless, feeling that had plagued Erwin back in the bedroom hasn’t gone away. “What happened there?” he asks, for lack of anything better to say more than anything else, pointing at Levi’s bruise.

Levi shrugs the shoulder in question carelessly, as if he’s only just remembering it. If it hurts – and it surely must, his skin is mottled purple for an area that’s wider than the span of Erwin’s hand – he hides it well. “From this morning, I think. I took a fall when I was still getting warmed up. Didn’t even realize there was a bruise until later.”

Erwin can think of a few things to say about reckless soldiers who neglect their own health and safety, but he holds his tongue. “Get it looked at if it feels like it’s more than just a bruise,” he settles on, instead.

“…Is that all?” Levi asks.

The impatience in his tone takes Erwin slightly by surprise. “Excuse me? 

Levi turns to look meaningfully at the bathtub – full almost to the brim – and then back at Erwin. “Did I come here so that we could talk, or…?”

“Oh.” Erwin feels stupid. “Of course not. I’ll let you be now.”

“ _Thank_ you,” Levi says, putting just a little more than enough emphasis on the words.

Erwin retreats. As he closes the bathroom door behind him, he can see Levi starting to undo his pants out of the corner of his eye. 

Back in his room, some five minutes later, another thought pops into Erwin’s head. The image of Levi’s bruised shoulder is still in his mind’s eye, nagging at him – just the bruise, certainly not the rest of the pale expanse of Levi’s back, Levi’s chest - and now Erwin remembers that he has something that’s good for bruises and sore muscles, a powder that’s meant to be added to a bath, in fact.

It’s not really that important, he thinks to himself. Levi’s shoulder is nothing compared to the kind of injuries soldiers in the Corps regularly meet with, and Levi certainly doesn’t seem to be particularly bothered by it. And he’s made enough of an intrusion of himself tonight already, when in the beginning he had hardly planned on interacting with Levi at all.

_But what would it hurt to make the offer?_

Erwin goes back to the bathroom. This time, at least, he remembers to knock.

“What is it?” he hears Levi call through the door, after a few seconds.

“There’s something else in the cabinet, if you want it,” Erwin says. “The powder in the white box will help your shoulder if you add it to the water.”

“Too late,” Levi answers. “I’m already in.”

“Ah.” Erwin’s hand had been hovering by the doorknob, but now he lets it drop, feeling oddly self-conscious. “That’s fine. I only remembered it now, and I just wanted to let you know. In case you were interested.”

He’s turning away from the door when Levi speaks again. “You could come in and find it for me.”

Erwin freezes in his tracks. “Come in?”

“Yeah.” Levi’s voice suggests nothing, as if this is a perfectly unremarkable suggestion.

“Aren’t you in the bath?”

“I am,” Levi answers. “It’s fine. Just come in, if it’s so important to you. I don’t care.”

“Really?” Erwin asks. The earlier sensation that none of this is real has come back in full force.

“I said, _yes_.” Now, Levi sounds as if Erwin’s starting to wear on his patience again. 

“All right.” Erwin brings his hand back to the doorknob, very slowly. “I’m coming in now,” he warns.

There’s no reply, and so nothing to stop Erwin when he finally pushes the door open.

The inside of the bathroom is innocently bright and warm, just as he had left it. It’s not until Erwin turns his head to the side that he sees the bath, and Levi. He’s got one arm hooked over the side of the bath, turned to look at Erwin.

“Yes?” Levi says expectantly, after a second or two passes. Erwin’s suddenly aware that he hasn’t moved since first stepping back into the bathroom. He forces his attention back to the task at hand. From where he’s standing, Erwin can’t see very far into the tub, and the water is cloudy with soap and minerals anyway, Levi’s body a milky shadow below. It’s more the simple knowledge that Levi is _there,_ naked and making himself at home in Erwin’s apartment, that has Erwin at such a loss now.

Erwin finds what he’s looking for easily – Levi has neatly replaced the contents of his bathroom cabinet, an unexpectedly thoughtful gesture – and then he finds himself with nowhere to turn but back to the bath. Levi watches him, seeming not at all bothered by their circumstances. “What’s that?” 

“It’s good for…” Erwin swallows. His eyes keep going back and forth over Levi, from his dark eyes, to his bare skin, flushed from the hot water, to the dark nipples just visible over the side of the tub. “For body aches. You add it to the water.”

Levi stretches indolently, leaning back in the tub. Only after he’s gotten comfortable does he turn his attention back to Erwin. “All right,” he says. 

He hasn’t made any move in the direction of taking the packet from Erwin. “Yes?” Erwin asks.

“Go on,” Levi tells him. “Put it in.”

He should tell Levi to do it himself, or just forget the whole thing entirely. It’s ridiculous that Levi’s ordering him around like this – in his own home, even – and this is eons away from the simple, uninvolved evening that Erwin had told himself it would be.

Instead, Erwin moves towards the bath. As Levi watches him evenly, he gets to his knees, tears open the package, and empties its contents into the steamy water. Levi says nothing, but after Erwin’s finished he kicks out lazily with one leg, stirring the water as the powder starts to dissolve. The tub is full enough that the movement sends a little more water splashing over the side and Erwin’s shirt, but he hardly notices such things now.

“Don’t feel anything,” Levi mutters.

“It takes a while,” Erwin tells him, watching as little clumps of suds and powder swirl around Levi’s bent knees. The bath has always been a little too small for Erwin, but Levi fits very nicely.

Levi grunts in acknowledgement, and slides down in the tub until the water laps at the hair on the nape of his neck. He seems to have no qualms about making himself at home in Erwin’s bathroom, initial wariness long gone. Now, Levi looks more at ease than Erwin’s seen him in a long time – maybe ever, relaxed and comfortable, cheeks pink from the heat of the bath in much the same charming way that he had blushed for Erwin earlier.

“You need to take a shit or something?” Levi asks abruptly.

Erwin blinks, jerked rudely out of his pleasant thoughts. “What?”

Levi gives him a pointed look. “Was there something else you wanted to do in here, or…?”

Erwin opens his mouth, but he can’t come up with a good reply. Levi’s right, of course. There’s no reason for Erwin to be hanging around. But now, he’s suddenly very aware that he doesn’t want to leave, either, as absurd and inappropriate as he knows it is.

But before he can manage to say something, or, at the very least, pull himself together enough to exit the bathroom, Levi speaks up again. 

“Whatever,” he says carelessly. “Is there anything I can wash my hair with?”

More orders – this exercise seems to be making Levi even more casual about the way he speaks to Erwin; it’s something Erwin will have to address eventually – but being given a problem that’s easy to solve is a welcome relief. Erwin turns gratefully back to his bathroom cabinet. This time, the item in question is a bottle of scented rinse, the same that Erwin uses when he takes his own shower.

As Levi pushes himself up, his mouth tightens in discomfort, and Erwin can see now that he’s favoring his bruised arm, the one that’s closest to Erwin. Erwin’s concern must show on his face, and Levi huffs in annoyance. “That stuff you put in the water is shit.”

He starts to reach out for the bottle, but Erwin holds back. “No. I’ll do it.”

“You’ll wash my hair,” Levi repeats flatly. He’s giving Erwin the same odd look as back when he had mentioned the weird stories the soldier that had bought him to Erwin’s room earlier in the night might have to tell.

Erwin understands, of course. It’s a brazen suggestion on his part, well outside the bounds of normal contact.

But on the other hand, he would be remiss to let Levi put further strain on his arm if his injury is more serious than he had initially thought. And while that reasoning may strain credibility somewhat, even to Erwin himself, Erwin knows absolutely that taking advantage of Levi – or whatever it even is that they’re dancing on the edge of – is the last thing he intends to do.

“Yes,” he says. “Unless you’d object to that.”

Levi gives Erwin another long work, and then shrugs. “Fine,” he says. “Go ahead, _sir_.”

The sarcasm with which he addresses Erwin is unmistakeable, but Levi is ducking beneath the water to wet his hair before Erwin can say anything about it. 

As Levi resurfaces a few seconds later, dripping hair plastered against his face, Erwin removes the stopper of the bottle and pours its contents out into the palm of one hand.

When he brings his soapy hands to Levi’s head for the first time, Levi stiffens, as if Erwin’s touch still comes as a surprise, even after plentiful advance warning. It only lasts for a second, though. With his fingers pressed against Levi’s scalp, Erwin can feel it when Levi’s brow unfurrows, and – even better – when he lets his head fall back ever so slightly.

He combs the soap into Levi’s hair with his fingers, careful not to get any in his eyes. Levi is silent, but Erwin notices that his eyelids are starting to droop. Levi’s genuinely relaxed now, Erwin’s sure of it. The thought that it’s _him_ responsible, at least in some way, for Levi finally being able to let go of the tension that’s plagued him for so long makes Erwin feel warm with pride.

For his own part, it turns out that there’s something oddly soothing about washing somebody else’s hair. Erwin’s never done this before, for a small child, or a lover – though, of course, Levi is neither of those things – but now he’s finding it surprisingly pleasant. He can cup Levi’s head easily his hands, can find the dips where Levi’s skull meets his spine with his fingertips. It makes Levi feel uncharacteristically fragile, though Erwin only has to glance down at the cords of muscle in his arms for that illusion to be broken.

He can see all of Levi – trim, wiry, and well-proportioned - without much obstruction now, if he glances even further. Erwin doesn’t, or tries not to. 

Once the soap has been thoroughly worked into Levi’s hair, Erwin dips his hands into the water below to rinse them, burningly aware of how close he comes to brushing against Levi’s naked body. “Ready to wash the soap out,” he informs Levi gently, reluctant to disturb him, to risk breaking the spell.

Levi just nods, eyes still half-closed.

Erwin mentally breathes a sigh of relief. “Close your eyes. I’ll rinse you.” There’s room for Levi to refuse him, but, just as at all the other times this evening, it’s not needed. Erwin sees Levi’s brow furrow slightly as he squeezes his eyes fully shut.

There’s nothing like a cup or anything else for scooping water in the room, Erwin notices belatedly. Instead, he settles for gathering the water in his own hands, once again hyper-aware of how close his hands come to Levi underneath the water.

He lets the water fall down over Levi’s head, chasing the suds from his hair and flowing over his face. Levi wrinkles his nose, but he doesn’t complain when Erwin repeats the action, and repeats it again.

The last time, Erwin follows the path of the water and brings his hands back down to Levi’s head. It looks as though the soap has been washed out by now, but it’s hard to be sure by just sight alone. Levi’s hair feels sleek and clean, as expected, but Erwin lets his hands run all the way over the crown of Levi’s head and down to his nape, to be absolutely certain.

Levi rolls his head back into Erwin’s touch obediently. His eyes are open again, but only just. “…Done?” he asks, voice rough and quiet.

The steam floating up from the bath is making Erwin’s skin hot and sticky, draining his energy away. He reaches for the bar of soap - neglected on the edge of the tub – almost unconsciously. “Not yet,” he finally thinks to say as he works the bar into a lather between his palms.

Levi’s mouth quirks into a smile, and he closes his eyes again.

When Erwin brings his hands back to Levi’s body again they go easily, slick with the soap as he slides them down over Levi’s shoulders. He cleans Levi’s back down to where the water laps at the bumps of his spine, and then takes his arms one by one, watching the way Levi’s muscles move beneath his skin. He says nothing, and for a while, neither does Erwin – too focused on the task at hand – until something occurs to him as he’s carefully soaping up Levi’s bruised arm.

“Did you stretch?” he asks. “After you were done with the gear?”

“What?” Levi has been leaning back in the tub, content to let Erwin arrange his limbs as he needs – Erwin finds himself put in mind of a young warrior prince, being pampered by a servant after a battle won – and now he turns his head lazily to look at Erwin.

“Stretching is an important part of training,” Erwin explains. “You can injure your muscles if you don’t do it, especially if you work as hard as you’ve been doing. Didn't anybody tell you about that?” All trainees are thoroughly instructed on how to care for their bodies after a demanding day of fieldwork, but Levi’s sudden and unusual trajectory into the Corps has meant that he’s missed out on many of the practices that the other soldiers know by heart.

Levi shrugs, uninterested. “Dunno. Maybe not.” 

Erwin’s worked his way down to Levi’s wrist, so it’s easy for him to cover Levi’s hand in his own, lacing his soapy fingers with Levi’s skinnier ones. He bends Levi’s hand gently backwards at the wrist, and forward, and back again, the way Erwin learned when he was a boy.

“See?” he instructs. “How’s that?”

“Good,” Levi murmurs. Erwin can’t see his expression without turning, but his voice is unusually quiet, and his body is limp and pliable under Erwin’s hands. 

“Right.” Erwin adjusts his grip on Levi’s wrist, and is bringing his other hand up to brace against Levi’s back when he hears a noise that sounds jarringly like a snort. When he turns, he sees that Levi has a strange look on his face, and it takes Erwin a second to realize that he appears to be holding back laughter.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, feeling reproachful even as a little burst of delight – Levi practically _laughing_ , imagine that, Erwin had hardly even been sure that he could smile, the last few weeks – blooms inside his chest.

“No,” Levi drawls, giving the hand that Erwin’s still holding loosely a careless wave. “Carry on with the… _stretches_.” 

Erwin pulls his hands away. His face feels hot. Too much time in the steam and the heat of the bath. It’s muddling his thoughts. “I was serious.”

“I’m sure,” Levi agrees, so sincere that it’s obvious even to Erwin that he’s being mocked.   

“Watch how you speak,” warns Erwin. “You have to be more professional, Levi, I’ve told you before.” It would be easy to talk like this under normal circumstances, in the light of day in some Survey Corps building, with them both uniformed and with clear duties to carry out. In Erwin’s bathroom, the effect isn’t quite the same.

As if he’s read Erwin’s mind, Levi looks down at the tub and his own naked body and then back up to Erwin, eyebrows raised pointedly. “Professional.”

Erwin gets to his feet. His legs are stiff from such a long time spent kneeling on the hard floor, but he’s thankfully able to avoid stumbling. He bends down again for a second to set the soap back on the side of the tub. “There.”

“Where are you going?” Levi asks. Erwin could almost let himself believe that there’s disappointment in his voice.

“Back to my room.” Erwin wipes his hands on his trousers, trying to gather himself together again. “Finish your bath. Take as much time as you need.”

Levi watches him. As reprehensibly self-indulgent as it might be for Erwin to let himself imagine that Levi’s sad to see him go, Levi does, at least, not seem to be mocking him anymore.

_Ignore him_. Erwin turns to leave. He’s reasonably satisfied that this strange experiment has allowed Levi a little relaxation and comfort, at the very least, which was the point from the beginning. This isn’t for Erwin, and he should never have let things go as far as they had - no matter how good his intentions might have been, he knows that he’s overstepped all the boundaries that should be in place between a commanding officer and one of their soldiers, even if the soldier is as unusual as Levi is, as special…

There’s the sudden sound of water moving in a rush from behind Erwin, making him turn unthinkingly. Levi’s on his feet in the bath, the soapy water lapping at his calves. His eyes are fixed on Erwin.

“Ah,” Erwin says, temporarily unable to come up with anything better for at least the second or third time that night. He’s seen basically everything there is to see of Levi before – the water hadn’t been that cloudy, and Levi hadn’t made any efforts to hide himself – but finding himself suddenly faced with Levi, dripping wet and unabashedly, unavoidably naked, is still rather a shock. “You – you don’t have to get out yet if you aren’t ready, I said-“

“I’m clean. I’m not gonna sit around while the water gets cold.” Levi answers, stepping out of the tub. At first, Erwin thinks, with something in between excitement and terror, that Levi’s coming towards him, but instead he heads for where a few of Erwin’s towels hang close to the door. Levi grabs one, and starts rubbing at his hair ferociously. 

“This towel is shit,” he proclaims after a few seconds.

Erwin wouldn’t have known how to respond to that even under circumstances where he wasn’t occupied with trying to keep his gaze somewhere above Levi’s waist.

“I’ve had better ones underground. And I bet you hardly even wash them, do you?” Levi continues. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” 

“I wash my towels,” Erwin manages. 

“About as often as you clean this bathroom, right?” Levi shoots back. The towel has mercifully worked its way down around his hips. “It’s a mess.” 

“I don’t use it very much,” Erwin answers, and then, even though it shouldn’t bother him at all what conclusion Levi draws, he hurries to explain: “There are showers for the officers near here, and I use those instead. They’re more convenient, anyway.”

“Huh.” Levi considers this. “Are they shit like the ones the rest of us have to use?”

“They’re not bad.”

“Of course,” Levi snorts. He whisks the towel back to its hook, and turns briskly to his folded clothes have been set aside.

“I could see about getting you permission to use it,” Erwin finds himself offering. “If the regular showers are really that bad.”

Levi pauses, glancing over his shoulder. “You’re full of suggestions, aren’t you?”

“I want things to work,” Erwin says. “Not just work, but be good, if that’s possible. If you have a problem, I want to know.”

Levi gives him a long look, and then goes back to dressing.

“Do you think things can be good?” he asks as he’s buttoning his shirt, still turned partly away from Erwin.

Erwin considers this. “I don’t think we lose anything by trying,” he says at last.

Levi grimaces skeptically. He’s finished dressing now, all of the skin that had been so displayed only minutes before now thoroughly concealed. The only hint of the evening’s activities is Levi’s still-wet hair. He shakes his head briefly, sending a few more drops of water across Erwin’s shirt, and then, seemingly satisfied, pushes confidently past Erwin to the doorway.

“I like baths more,” he says as he steps back into the front room, Erwin just turning to follow him.

Erwin blinks. “More than what?”

“Showers.” Levi explains patiently. “You don’t have to get me permission for anything. I can come back here again, right?”

Erwin feels as if he’s trailing a few steps behind Levi in this conversation, the same way he’s felt for much of the night, but he jumps on the first part that he understands. “Come back here? Of course. Whenever you want.”

“Good,” Levi says. “Your bathroom isn’t that bad.”

All Erwin can do is nod, suddenly and absurdly happy.

Levi’s got his jacket on, ready to walk out the door. The whole thing has gone by very quickly, Erwin realizes. It couldn’t have been more than an hour ago that Levi first came to his door. 

A selfish part of him wants to resist this, to try and create some reason for Levi to stay a little longer, but he pushes it aside. There’s no need, anyway. Levi will be here again.

“Goodnight,” Levi says. He’s lingering with his hand on Erwin’s doorknob, damp hair sticking to his forehead messily, dark eyes watching Erwin.

Erwin wants to dry Levi off with best towel money can buy, wants to rub lotion into his newly clean skin until it’s soft and smooth. He wants to tangle his fingers in Levi’s wet hair and tilt his head back for a kiss.

But there will be other nights. “Goodnight, Levi,” Erwin says, smiling.

Levi nods once before taking his leave, pulling the door neatly shut. Behind him, the air in Erwin’s quarters feels a little warmer, and smells pleasantly of soap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and for your patience in waiting for the second part!! Btw I am also [on tumblr](http://the-naomin.tumblr.com/).


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